The article below is reprinted in a slightly shortened version.

January 21, 2010

How to Find Your Sugar Daddy

Can solve your man AND money woes?

-Carrie Seim

Feeling a little cash poor and lovelorn? Then click on over to, a dating site that promises you the man – and the bank account – of your dreams.

The pitch is to match young, attractive women who “want to be taken care of and treated like a princess” with busy, successful men who want “to pamper a special someone”.

The site’s founder tells BettyConfidential that his two million members – self-appointed Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddies, Sugar Mommas, Sugar Baby-Males and Gay Sugar Daddies – feel no shame in cutting to the chase. Or to the check.

“What's wrong with admiring and desiring a man for his accomplishments in life?” he asks. “This is no different from many marriages, where the man has a successful career and takes care of his woman and she takes care of him in the ways that she is able to.”

(The site is equal-opportunity: It also caters to wealthy Sugar Mommas looking for men and women to spoil.)

The Sugar Babies certainly aren't bashful. Their profile pics are littered with cleavage, thigh-highs and naughty schoolgirl ensembles. Testimonials gush about the vacations to the Bahamas, designer shopping sprees, luxury cars – and, oh yeah, true love – these women have found on SugarDaddyForMe.

Is this for real? Or too trashy to consider? And should I be wasting my time on boring coffee dates when there are Sugar Daddies waiting to whisk me off to St. Barts?

“Layla,” a 26-year-old massage therapist from Kansas City, tells BettyConfidential she’s had great success on SugarDaddyForMe landing men who paid for her pre-med classes, vacations to Vegas and New Orleans, extravagant dinners and expensive shopping sprees.

Yet she doesn't see herself as a gold digger.

“I just look at it as being goal-oriented,” she says. “I know what I want and I know who would be best in the position to get me there – and it’s probably not a guy fresh out of college.”

Most of the men she’s met through the site are decades older than she, but “it wasn't like I was pushing them in a wheelchair or anything.”

So what does she offer in return for all those tuition payments and frequent-flyer miles?

“I'm not going to promise my body for any material gain,” she insists, adding that she communicates her position on sex right off the bat.

Hold up – the guys give her all that stuff and she doesn't “give it up” in return?

“There are things you can do to show the person you appreciate them, other than just lying down and having sex,” she says. Hmmm…we can think of a few.

Raven, a 21-year-old actress and “vitamin consultant” from Chicago, is currently seeing two men she met on the site, who've spoiled her with shopping excursions and pricey suppers.

She claims she’s had great success on the site – meeting sports stars, CEO's and models.

Raven says the site works because both parties share a mutual understanding. “We both know what we're getting ourselves into,” she says. “No one’s pretending and using someone for their money.”

But would men really give up their cold hard cash simply to finance “goal-driven” gals?

Will, a 35-year-old attorney and entrepreneur based in Washington, D.C., says he finds women on SugarDaddyForMe far more attractive than those on traditional dating sites – and far more open to age differences.

This works well for Will, who prefers relationships with much younger women. “If I met these women in the real world,” he says, “it would have been much less efficient, taking weeks or even months of ‘playing the field.’”

Will is currently dating a “wonderful” young lady he met on the site.

“It allows me to indulge in my generous, protective, nurturing side,” he says. “Which [she] appreciates, of course!”

Another Sugar Daddy, an anonymous 52-year-old Silicon Valley exec, is more cautious about the ladies he’s met on the site.

He says that while he doesn't mind spending money to have fun with women, he'd never go for a monthly allowance-type relationship and would insist on a pre-nup if marriage were in the cards.

“I'm not interested in dependent, arm-candy-type women,” he says. “I'm interested in feminine women with inner strength. If they happen to value financial independence, I don't find that to be a detriment.”

Neither do we, my friend. Neither do we.

Would you date a “sugar daddy”?

Carrie Seim, Betty's L.A. Correspondent, is a writer and comedian keeping it real in L.A., New York and @

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