How to Ask your Sugar Daddy For What You Need and Want

Sugar daddy dating is just like regular dating in many aspects, and all couples need to discuss concerns from time to time. Situations will eventually arise in your relationship whether you met your sugar daddy on the SugarDaddyForMe website for dating or offline. Many sugar babies feel nervous asking for something new, especially if the situation involves a monetary request or an emotional issue. Time your discussion well and approach the subject in an appropriate manner to improve your chances of getting what you want from your partner.

Sugar Daddy handing sugar baby a house key


Some discussions are appropriate for new relationships. Money and commitment are two topics that couples should discuss immediately after entering into a sugar daddy-sugar baby relationship to ensure that both parties are on the same page. Commitment refers to time as well as loyalty. It is important to know how much time each person can devote to the relationship, and it is also good to know if seeing other people is forbidden for either partner. Conversations involving emotional issues or physical needs are typically best for established couples who have been seeing each other for some time.

Never make demands or ask your daddy for things in a rude tone. Think about how you like to be treated and then model that behavior. Instead of saying, “Give me more cash or I’m gone”, try something like, “Can we please discuss increasing my allowance?” A little kindness goes a long way when it comes to asking for things that you want.

Don’t be vague about your request. Explain exactly what you want from your sugar daddy and tell him why. Be honest about the situation to help him understand where you’re coming from. If you’re broke and need money for school, say so. If you already receive a generous allowance but need a bit more for a pedicure or haircut, explain that you’re not feeling as pretty as usual and need some extra financial help. Let your daddy know how you feel and what you consider to be an acceptable solution.

Ladies, when your gentleman grants your request, make sure to let him know that you appreciate his help. Thank him immediately after he honors his commitment, and then tell him how lucky you are to have him in your life. Maybe even prepare a little surprise for him. When he feels valued and respected, he is likely to treat you very well. Keep your bond strong to ensure that you both get what you need out of the arrangement.

Knowing how to ask your sugar daddy for what you want is one thing. Knowing what to ask is another. For example, apart from the emotional satisfaction and financial support you might ask of him, your career can benefit from Sugar Daddy Dating as well.

What do you usually ask for from your sugar daddy? We would love to hear about some of your “tactics” you use when asking something from your sugar daddy!

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75 thoughts on “How to Ask your Sugar Daddy For What You Need and Want

  1. I am new to the SD/SB relationships. I am not sure what is even reasonable to ask for. where can i get advice or maybe find a mentor to help me be a better sugarbaby?

  2. shuggerbabys shood by no means b asking for ennything a man just know . oh let me say a real man just knows what a women needs ….. i do like to think that.

    • Most men that I know, and I know a lot of them,tend to be clueless about what women want. I feel it is best to have an open and frank discussion at the beginning of the relationship of expectations. I almost always begin with coffee in a public place for a first meeting and open discussion of what each person expects. Nothing intimate at that first meeting and no commitment. Then if there is a feeling on both sides to move forward, an intimate meeting is set up. I have not kept statistics but in the 10 plus years I have been a sugardaddy my gut feeling is only 1 in 5 potential sugarbabes I meet for coffee go on to that second meeting. I would further guess about 3/4 of the time it is my decision not to go further and I tell the girl before the end of the meeting why.
      As the relationship grows I believe in straight forward discussion of any further needs. I am not a mind reader. So if my sugarbabe needs something she can tell me.
      I have sugarbabes that will actually recommend me to new sugarbabes.

  3. hello to all of you sugarbabies out there,simple answer
    for the simpler species(sugardaddies of coarse)be your self,be up front, this is what it is no need to beat around the bush,you want money,we want honey.Now lets get to it..

  4. I typically don’t ask my SD (when I have one) for things as much as he is attentive to making sure my needs are met and I make sure his are as well. Our interactions are always accompanied by discussions about what the other may need or want and how we, as their dedicated SD/SB, can provide or meet those needs or desires. I am eager to make my SD feel valued, respected, adored and fulfilled and he is as eager to pamper, spoil, romance, adore me and shower me with affection.

    You both set the tone for the relationship and your Daddy will let you know (if you’re not clear just ask) how you can best approach him to have your needs and wants met. He wants you happy- you are your best SB that way. Don’t be money hungry in your relationship (any relationship) and appreciation will go a LONG way to making sure your Daddy is motivated to make you happy.

  5. Hi and thank you for sharing your point of view! Many of the things you said are true and we hope each reader has had something to learn from this blog post.

  6. Make sure when you decide to meet in the beginning to talk about why you got on SD and then he will know what you need help with. I usually talk over lunch or dinner when we meet and ask what he needs from me in the beginning and as the relationship moves on you become more relaxed and know how to approach those things.

  7. I am glad I came across this posting here. Thank you for answering my questions I simply didn’t know how to ask. To me it seems so awkward. I’m not one who will ever ask, I will go without before I ever ask for anything. I am a very humble person and when asked if I need anything I always think of the other person first.

  8. When I have one I don’t ask he offers unless its something like a bill. I’m not really the buy me this buy me that type. I think most girls like hairdo every few weeks, and sexy outfits or waxing, bill money but besides that nails shoes etc I don’t ask for.

  9. In all my SD relationships, including my current one, I have found that you should treat each other with respect and understanding. If you come together as friends then working out the needs and wants are easier. The first date sets the stage on the rest of the relationship so respect yourself and each other.

  10. im very new in the SB life & have not had much luck on this site , can anyone give advise on how to find a SD .. i get very nervous ive had my feeling & mind played with many times so im not sure whos forreal or just for entertainment

  11. What if you comply with your new SD but the SD has not kept his part of the arrangement? I’ve tried everything’s and this person has avoided my inquiries and keeps making excuses when I ask directly. I’m very new and feel humiliated…

      • I would also suggest cutting your losses on this one. But remember, the next SD should not get what he wants until YOU do! Ensure that he gives you something of value before giving him your valuables. Be clear about what you expect from him, and wait for him to prove himself to you. Don’t be humiliated though. I have made that mistake myself, and it took a while before I realized what I was doing wrong. Good luck to you!

  12. I am new to this, if you’ve just started talking to your Sugardady, how long is appropriate to ask or hint around to what you need? PLZ help! Any pointers are appreciated!

  13. I have meet a sugar daddy and he has popped up in town without notice…He just texted me and asked me to meet him..(this being our first date) but what has thrown me off is he offered me an allowance but said after our night I am to text him where he is to put my allowance…example.. Bank acct, money transfer, payapl…I do not know what to do…PLEASE HELP…New sugarbaby Robin

    • Would a pre-paid Visa or MasterCard work? The kind that you each have a copy in your own names so the Daddy can just add the allowance to the card and it instantly shows up on the Baby’s account: no wire transfers to be picked up, no money orders to be bought. What do the Daddies think of this idea? I’m new to this, too.

  14. @SugarDaddyForMe – how do we contact or ask any question to Taylor Jones? I am already a subscriber to her emails, but I am in dire need of advice before I scare off every SD. I’ve already LOST my money as an SB, as opposed to earn. In addition, all I seem to attract are men who want nude pictures prior to meeting (don’t worry; I’m not that dumb lol), and guys that want me to drive to them, and guys that don’t discuss a thing but just ask to “meet”. None of these scenarios feels right to me. But, how is it possible that out of let’s say 100 SD’s who have contacted me, 99 of them have been this way. Hence, three months into this, I am still SD-less.

    Am I being a prude?!? I don’t think any male should have the right to see my full body (even in bra and undies) until we have an arrangement. It’s evident by a clothed full body pic that I am slim. So should I still need to send then “skin pix”? Is EVERY SB doing this? I know some are, but should that really be necessary if the SD is a true gentleman? AAAHHH! Help, pretty please :) .

    • As a gentleman, I never ask for nude pictures. I will ask for a pic code.
      Here are my two cents.
      Instead of waiting for men to contact you, send a short email to the men that interest you. Something like, “I like your profile. Please have a look at mine. If you are interested, let me know.” As it is, you are getting mail from men that drive trucks, drink beer, pretend to be wealthy and collect pictures as a hobby. They infest any dating site, but sugar sites are particularly vulnerable to them.
      Put up a face pic and two pictures of you fully dressed from head to toe. The first full shot should be face on, and the second should be from the side. Ideally none of them look like they were posed.
      If you get a response that says, “Send me a nude photo”, respond with “LOL. You first. Full body.”
      To be candid, these parasites irritate men like me.

      • That was a lovely and intelligent piece of advice, Thank you so much.. You seem like a lovely man.. nice to know there are still one or two out here.

  15. Hello
    I really need an advised, I am new to this, at this point i don’t know how to respond to the emails, I am looking for financial help to return to school, but i don’t know how to ask please help

    • Hello Capiuska,
      I am also new to this Sugar Daddy thing and it seems so many of the women on this blog have the same question, “How do I ask for monetary assistance”. Maybe I can help answer yours and other ladies here using some interpersonal communications skills I learned at college. For example: “You say you want to go back to school” If you say something like “for 2 or more years” yikes! That’ll scare off any potential SD However if you put it this way, “I just need initial (start up) tuition or help with paying for books” that’s a lot less threatening. Not too many men can afford to put you through college as many are putting there own kids through school but more often than not a man can afford a reasonable amount to help you achieve your goals and would do so happily! Men love to be of assistance but not broke! Hope this helps.

  16. Refreshing to hear a man so honest. Loved that you said, you would be honest and tell them if you had any intentions of every meeting again before coffee date ended.

  17. I suppose I am a sugar daddy to some extent.
    My own feeling about requesting things generally involving money are as follows:
    1. I want to help the woman in my life if romantic mutual desire to be together exists between us,
    2. Never lie about your feelings to someone because you’ll never be able to hide it. Love is expressed in normal and complete relationships and people understand the difference between ruse from reality; I do.
    There is a definite difference between needing things for real while having sincere love for the person helping you than there is using them as merely a cash cow to support your one way selfish ambitions at a kind persons expense.
    3. Consider the person situation financially that is helping you and never take all you can get. Just because we are able to help doesn’t mean we do not have our own financial limits, budgets, and concerns.
    “I don’t like the attitude: ” Oh well you want a young hot woman so you better be able to fork out the bucks to support her.” Zero! That kind of individual is only a taker and cares nothing about the emotions, feelings or situations of their supporter. It is a parasitic relationship; all take and no give.
    4. Real sugar daddies desire to help women because they care about them genuinely and ideally. They do it from their heart with trust and with sincerity in return for sincere love, companionship, affection and the mutual honest desire to be together. It is a mutually beneficial functioning and working relationship between two people that need the help of each other in life they normally would not easily find otherwise.
    These are my opinions based from my years of experience, generally negative ones, outside the established values of a sugar daddy / sugar baby relationships before I joined

    • It’s nice to hear men who want honest women. I always find boys who want me to act like the stereotypical female.
      Thanks guys it’s nice to hear real opinions.

    • Really, I am that Honest,sincere,gold hearted, intelectual, strong minded woman…I haven’t had the experience yet, but from some of what I have read from SD’s, They are looking for that beautiful young,niave,gold digger girl, Not Mature,strong, honest woman, to spend there money on just to look good with the girl. I am a Beautiful mature business woman and I am Honest to the SD’s, I get replies like “lets chat” then when I am Honest with them and let them know exactly what I am looking for as the same as them in return to make them happy..I don’t hear back from them. so..what does that tell ya?

    • I am in total agreement with Chris, if the SB shows genuine interest in me she can pretty much get anything she wants out of me. I like to feel like I am really helping her out with things she needs or even just things she wants like shopping. What I don’t like is demands for outrageous allowances. I don’t need her to fall in love with me, I don’t want that, but I need her to make me believe she enjoys my company. I don’t demand nude photos or intimacy up front. I don’t demand anything, I think she should know how to give me the affection that I’m looking for. I always treat her with ultimate respect.

  18. I’m a new sb and my sd told me if I need anything jst let him knw but I don’t knw how to ask. Please help asap

  19. Hi Laura, I am new at this and I have had a couple interest. I have one gentleman who is divorced and he is wanting to know more about me and what I am looking for. I do not want to start out over whelming. Can you assist me in some samples as to what is the correct approach for this question. Thank You

  20. I have been on and off this site for some time as a sugarbaby and have had very few interactions with “genuine” daddies here.However they are here and I’ve had some great experiences,just be patient,keep your profile fresh,do not send or post nudes and wait until the interaction is right for you.

  21. I went on my first date and it went really well. He was obviously really keen and very eager to meet up again asap. I don’t know if I should call/email about an allowance because I really don’t have time to keep meeting up and playing cute until we work it all out. (I’m planning a few more POT dates soon too, so I don’t really have a lot of time) Would love some advice!

  22. I have just had my first chat with SD. Everything seemed to go along fine….Make plans to meet for coffee for first time meeting. Chatted about our wants, needs and who are. Then he says he is currently out of the country and on his way back but first he has to make a stop somewhere else before arriving here. Fine, take care of business, then he says he wants to meet me right away so he is cancelling the flight to go the other place and come home…but he needed me to pay for the BTA fees to cancel the flight and pick him up at the airport. All I needed to do was give him my bank information or credit card number. I told him no…I was not willing to do that since we had not met in person yet. Basically, he hung up !! How often does this happen. I am new at this and not sure if I should continue….What do you think ? I know I did the right thing.

      • a real sd will never ask you topay for anything espsecially if it is not an expense of your own. be smart, think of them like fish. catch one and if its to small throw it back qwick so that you can get catch another. dont waste ypur time cause unless your really lucky it takes a few months tofind a good one if you arent a model (im not, more of a intellectual video vixen type) but remeber everyone likes something different rich or not

  23. for me (newly attached sb) on the first date i try to just enjoy the mans company provide him with an alluring yet slightly shy version myself. sit close with your knees slightly touching his, smile, lower the tone of your voice and make it sweet. i like to meet in a sports bar or restaurant wear its not to noisey but definately not quiet. when he ask you a question answer so that he can bearly heae whar youve said when he asks “what did you say” lean in and say it in his ear while touching his neck delicately. then promptly return to your place with a smile.

    my biggest tip: smile with your eyes, and bite the side of your lip practice in mirror. insinuate sexiness with your body language, but dont touch for more than a few seconds on the first date. prepare things
    specific things to talk about. if hes an investor find out about trending stocks. do your homework ladies, you want o be intertainng and sexy

  24. read “the art of seduction” robert green
    some people think sugar baby s a new thing but the practice of being seductive to illicit benefits is one of the oldest practices on earth. cleopatra, marilyn monroe, geisha’s were sugar babies and became wildly successul by honing in on their seductive powers. this takes planning and work. and its not for the faint of heart.

    one more thing play a little dumb ask your sd questions that you know hes an expert on (even if you know the answer) listen intently and then boost his ego not too much but enough to make him feel admired by you. remember you have to mind-fuck them. lol

  25. To Lola’s point: I agree that the art of seduction has been around since Adam and Eve, so definitely nothing new.
    But be careful when you ‘mind fuck your SD’. Chances are, if he is a real SD with smarts and experience, he will see right through you. Although, if he is a gentleman, he will let you flatter him and seduce him and pretend he didn’t notice the ‘mind fuck’

  26. This is all great advice! Thank you ladies.

    I have been on a few dates. And have been asked what I am looking for in exchange. What do you consider to be an appropriate amount at the very beginning? As much financial assistance as I currently need, I still want to be fair in the amount I am asking for. But, at the same time, don’t want to ask for too little. Will someone with experience in this please provide me with some advice? Thank you ladies!

  27. Wow thanks alot u guys im a newly divorced mother of 2 and in a hard time right now this really did give me some great pointers on how to go about this whole sd/sb deal thanks:-)

  28. How do I answer when asked “what are you looking for in exchange?” Wouldn’t that depend on what the SD is wanting from me as well? I understand there is usually sex involved, eventually…But what if I’m wanting a relationship and want to take things slow?

  29. “….but he needed me to pay for the BTA fees to cancel the flight and pick him up at the airport. All I needed to do was give him my bank information or credit card number.”

    There’s one word for this, and it’s spelled S-C-A-M. Never give anybody this type of info, unless you want your bank account cleaned out.

  30. Hi, well me and a friend of mine decied to join.but it know walk in the park.nor is it like the movie pretty woman …….lol..well you have to screen out the bad to get to the good.and sometimes that may take alot of time.i guess over all patients,honesty,respect and being yourself and knowing when a situation is real and not real.dont give up ladies.anything worth having is going to take time and jumping threw some hoops! My friend just got her first meet and greet in washington to meet her s/d mind you after being on line for six months and he is a great just keep going.but just a suggestion for the sites itself .i think it should be one designed for us single moms out there.fact! Because we spend so much time taking care of others that sometimes trying ti find a s/d through all the madness can be intense…just saying.good luck!


    • Hi Sunny,thanks for sharing your experience and your suggestions. May I ask if you had something specifically in mind with regards to provide a better experience to single moms? We’re always trying to improve our site, so any suggestions are welcome. Thanks and happy sugaring!

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